I keep hearing people talk about caregiver burnout and how as a caregiver that you have to remember to take care of yourself too. I've been making an effort to try to lead a healthier lifestyle and take better care of myself but there's still a lot of stuff standing in my way. Or maybe more like shoving me back and holding me down from feeling better.
I finally got to see my endocrinologist after months of not being able to get ahold of him or anyone in his office. I basically forced an appointment to be scheduled via my PCM and the appointment line. My endocrinologist had basically dropped me after my thyroidectomy and I had no follow up care. Turns out the majority of his patients have no been able to get ahold of anyone in the office and calls are not returned because he acknowledged this but offered no explanation.
I also had more bloodwork drawn and my endo commented that he agreed with my PCM about the vitamin D deficiency and would've done the same thing. Bullshit. He wouldn't have bothered to check it in the first place because he's convinced that the TSH is the gold standard of testing and nothing else matters. I told him that I was completely miserable all summer because of either the Synthroid or lack of vitamin D and that I was still having some issues. He tells me that because my TSH is in the 1.2 range (up from 0.005) that it's perfect and if I came to see him with that range he wouldn't treat me. So basically he completely ignored everything that I said about not feeling well simply because of the TSH range. I then asked him about the benefits of adding T3/Cytomel to my Synthroid and he tells me that I don't have a thyroid anymore so there's absolutely no need for T3. He went on to casually blow me off and say "you don't need it, there's no need to test for it, it doesn't matter for you anymore." I knew that he was feeding me a load of crap with his ignorance. He also doesn't see any reason to test for antibodies again even though I have been tested previously by another endocrinologist and not only were they present but they were extremely high.
There came a point during this visit when I realized that I would probably never see him again. I can't say that I was too disappointed by that. Even though he was thrilled with my TSH results, he still for some reason opted to increase my Synthyroid dose. He tells me that my vitamin D level is still at 13 and blames all of my symptoms on that. I tell him that I am struggling with depression and feel the need to get on something to help balance me out. He tells me to wait 2 months and then talk to my PCM about it. It basically comes down to him wanting me to have RAI done but I chose to surgery and now that it's done I'm not his problem anymore. I've been hesitant to add another endo into the mix just because we're coming up on moving soon anyway but this was the last straw. I liked him as a doctor, or I thought I did until this last appointment.
Since he increased my dose of Synthroid from 100mcg to 112mcg, my hair has started falling out again and I've been having both hyper and hypo thyroid symptoms. Unfortunately I'm not even surprised. I'm so exhausted and if I could find away to sleep 24 hours a day lately I would do it. It's almost like the vitamin D therapy isn't working because of the Synthroid.
So in addition to being a wounded warrior's wife and our lives being turned upside down, this is what I get to deal with:
Hair falling out again, with the exception of the gray, including eyebrows and eyelashes.
Racing heart/tightness in my chest
Severe muscle spasms/cramps
Extreme fatigue, yet having problems staying asleep
Memory Loss/Forgetfulness (forgot it was my day to pick up my daughter from school after checking the calendar and talking about it earlier in the day).
Increased IBS symtoms
No periods for the past year and a half
Teeth cracking and breaking from loss of bone density
lowered immune system
Lack of concentration
Low tolerance to cold, even in warm weather
I know there's more to that list but I'm too tired to think of it right now. I told my endocrinologist that I'd be picking up my medical records and probably wouldn't see him again.