Bittersweet

Today I am packing and loading up the Jeep so I can hit the road early tomorrow. Looking back it feels like the past four years just flew by, although there were many times when I was sure there was never going to be an end in sight. I'll never hear the end of it for saying this, but part of me is a little sad to be leaving. Not that I've ever loved it here or even liked it some of the time, but so much has happened in our lives in the few years we've been here. Much of that was emotionally charged and it's hard to believe at times that we survived some of the stuff that was thrown our way.

It's hard for me to leave half of my family behind for the time being but I know they will be along soon enough. I was hoping that upon getting out of the military that this would finally be the one move that my husband and I could pick out a house together but yet again it's not going to happen. It's kind of a joke between us, but we've never picked out a home together in our entire marriage. I even have a new POA to take with me when I sign a new lease.

What I wasn't expecting were the mixed emotions that I've been having. In some ways it's hard to leave that safety net behind. Not just the military in general but the WTB. I find it oddly comforting to be around other warriors and their families who have been through some of the experiences our family has. We're fortunate enough to be moving to a location where I already know a few wounded warrior wives, plus my best friend is moving close by this summer. I don't want to make the mistake of shying away from people like I did here and in central TX. I want to get out and meet more people and feel as "normal" as possible. I don't want to feel like my husband's injuries are the focus of our lives all the time. There's no question that what happened changed the entire course of our lives. It took us in a completely different direction than what we had originally planned. I have some regrets and wish I would've done some stuff differently but it was all part of the recovery process - for all of us.