Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Double Standard

My husband is delusional.

It drives me nuts.

The stomach flu hit our house this week, mainly him and I, and hopefully it will skip right over the kids. That's probably me being delusional, but I really don't want them to have to go through that.

So anyway, it hit me first, early Monday morning. Somehow I managed to get our daughter dressed and ready for school and then feed our son breakfast before becoming one with the couch. Every time I got up I instantly felt sick so I spent about 85% of the day on the couch. Unfortunately, my 3 year old didn't think that was the greatest idea and saw fit to basically destroy the house when I couldn't convince him to sit down and watch the Disney channel. Oh yes, I wanted the TV to babysit my kid so that I didn't have to move.

Normally my husband is also home for part of the day, but on this particular day he happened to have 4 appointments. I think I picked the worst day to get sick because he was gone all day and couldn't pick up our daughter from school and I had to drag myself out of the house to get her. When my husband was home, he did nothing but complain about me laying around. It seemed like he was constantly yelling at me, even over the phone before he got home. At one point he even told me that I didn't have the flu and was just being lazy like I am every other day. Honestly, I could not have cared less but it did irritate me.

Well you know what they say about karma. Later that evening my husband developed a fever and just listening you'd swear that the world was coming to an end. He even yelled at me that he had a headache and a fever and I said "forgive me if I don't give a ----" and "sorry if I don't feel bad for you." Sure enough, he was up all night and did nothing but sleep for 18 hours on Tuesday. I sure do love the double standards.

So now that we are both feeling better for the most part, I asked him how he felt when he was in the middle of it and said that maybe next time he ought to cut me some slack. And he said....

"Well that was no different for you, you do that every day."

Yeah and I suppose there's a dish fairy who gets the dishes done and a laundry fairy that gets that done, oh and maybe someone else gets the kids bathed and ready and does homework with them.

Bite me dude.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

20 Months

It's hard for me to believe that we are closing in on my husband's 2nd Alive Day. I never thought we would be here for 2 years. It feels like we're so close to the next chapter, the end is in sight but we're still not quite there. We've been talking about my moving with one or both of the kids over the summer, so we won't have to have our daughter switch schools in the middle of the year. I said something to my counselor about it and she thought I was talking about a marital separation. I'm not looking forward to living in separate states, but being a military family, I guess we're just accustomed to being apart. That aside, we just have to get on with our lives and I need to get back to working full time again and find a house, etc. It feels like our lives have been on hold for 20 months. 20 months and 20 surgeries, and surprise, there's another one coming up. Soon it will be 21 months and 21 surgeries.

Not to be outdone, I'll be having surgery myself later this month. I've decided that I hate been and having the metabolism of a teenager and would prefer to have no metabolism at all. All kidding aside, I'm having a thyroidectomy to treat my Graves' Disease. I could've had it treated with RAI, and not be cut open but without going into detail, I think surgery is the right option for me. It's certainly not an overnight decision, in fact, I've been thinking about it for about 4 years now.

Today I finally did something that I've also been talking about since my husband was released from the hospital. I went to the spa on post and had a deep tissue massage and a deluxe pedicure. Eight years ago, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. It used to bother me a lot more but now it's more infrequent, but when I have a flare up, it's still pretty uncomfortable. The best way I that I can describe it is that it's like a nauseating pain and achy feeling. I have these trigger points that are very painful when pressure is applied to them and that's exactly what I had done today. I've read that a deep tissue massage is a good choice for fibromyalgia patients but painful and it was indeed painful and I'm definitely tender but surviving just fine. What put it into perspective for me and made me realize that it was pretty trivial, was when my massage therapist was telling me about one of his regular clients who is a wounded warrior who lost both of his arms and both legs overseas. It really makes you feel grateful for what you have.

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